I laugh at them and i am a hypocrite
I always tell people that they shouldn’t be insecure and that they shouldn’t wish for things that are in their control but i seem to do the exact thing that i warn them about. I hold all of my insecurities and fears in so that everyone believes that i am a strong and inpenetrable fortress. I’m not. I am human and i look in the mirror sometimes and wish i was someone other than myself. I wish i could settle with someone, anyone but i can’t i am picky and i don’t know why. Why do i deserve to be picky? I want to be with someone who i am attracted to and who makes me feel great for who i am and every time i think i find anyone remotely close they don’t feel the same. I wish every night that i had someone to share my heart with. I’m sure there is someone out there for me but how do i find them… They say it is better to loved and lost than to never have loved at all and that is so true… I have never loved and when i think about it i feel oh so lonely. I will move on with my life and who knows how things will turn out with her and i wish every night that things work out but part of me thinks it wont. Is it so much to ask to be happy?
