September 2010
2 posts
Geography is a drag!
So I’m about to sit in a class with a no computer and cell phone policy and try to stay awake while I listen to things that I already learned in high school. Fun stuff… If i could skip this class I would but the quizes that she convienently places on every day of class prevents me from doing so.
Sometimes I wish people could just read my mind. Not all of it just enough to let...
Grown up
When i was little i had to be in bed by 8 o’clock sharp. No if and’s or but’s about it. But there were times when I couldn’t sleep at all. On these nights I would wait for my father to tuck me into bed and then, after I was sure he had gone back into the living room downstairs, I would sneak out. I didn’t go hang out with friends or go to a secret hiding...
August 2010
2 posts
A good guy?
Who is he?
I have no idea. Actually that’s a lie.
He’s the guy who sits three rows over and two seats back. He’s the one that during roll call memorizes your name just in case you ever decide to talk to him. He’s the one that holds the door for you even if it means standing in the rain or heat or cold. He’s the one that no matter if you call at six in the...
Been a while
College rocks, so do friends, and so does meeting new people. I think i discovered last night that I don’t know who I want to spend my time with. I need to find another job, clean the parrot crap off of the carpet in my room, and get shit done with my group for Informatics… I’m so busy! Oh I also found out i have a Black cousin named Brooklyn!
July 2009
6 posts
I laugh at them and i am a hypocrite
I always tell people that they shouldn’t be insecure and that they shouldn’t wish for things that are in their control but i seem to do the exact thing that i warn them about. I hold all of my insecurities and fears in so that everyone believes that i am a strong and inpenetrable fortress. I’m not. I am human and i look in the mirror sometimes and wish i was someone other than...
im tired of my friends being liars
kikikarma:
stop being faggots and seriously just tell me the truth.
cause i know someone told another person and i know you all say you’re good at keeping your mouth shut but you really arent.
so who told first?
Okay so 150 characters isnt enough to answer you. Girl you know that you can tell me anything and i will not tell anyone just try me. And if you know that other people have let you...
When shit hits the fan everyone smells bad...
I see all this stuff that people are going through and i keep thinking that really stinks. I wish I could do something but the more i inject myself into the situation the more people become angry at me. But maybe that is a good thing because if they are angry at me then they won’t be angry at eachother… I have been a scapegoat my whole life with people. People see that i am open...
Maybe Life isn't That Simple
I took a walk again and thought about what to write here because it has been way too long since i posted a thing.
I don’t like to wait for things in life. Let me elaborate. I don’t like to wait for things that i am unsure of the outcome. Say i’m waiting for a ride at an amusement park i know that eventually i will get to ride that ride. But i don’t ever think i could...
*sigh*
I should really get some sleep… I have gotten less than 4 hours of sleep for the last 4 days and it is taking its toll on me. The entire month of june is behind me… It makes me sad to think that my last summer of high school is half way over. I say i am glad but to tell you the truth i don’t know what i feel. I can never explain my emotions… They haven’t invented...
hmmm
righteousben:
it seems like everything has changed nothing is the same anymore
i just realized that my worst fear is change i wont be able to handle leaving this house and going away to college making new friends a new area a new lifestyle
its fucking scary
i dont even want to turn 17
You are right Change is scary. It takes everything you thought you knew and throws it upside down. ...
June 2009
17 posts
On the Road Again
Woke up today at 10 and left to pick up my cousin from the airport in Indianapolis. Ended up taking about 6 hours there and back. I am so tired but i have to get ready for work in a half an hour so i can’t really rest much. I don’t regret it though because i haven’t seen my cousin in a while and i like to spend time with him.
Happy Freaking Fathers Day
So they schedualed me to work from 2-8 today, effectively destroying any chance at spending time with my family… Now when i get home they are all drunk off their asses and any chance at a cohearant conversation is pointless. I guess i just wanted to see my dad when he opened his cheesy card that i got him and smile as he opened his presents. They are right when they say that you never...
I'm done
So i work almost every day this week and i didn’t get paid this friday, apparently i get paid next friday which really pissed me off. I’m so tired of everything at this point. Everything is so fucking confusing and i really need to sleep for a few months. Can’t wait to hang out with my best friend who came down from Michigan to see me. At least when I’m down he is the...
To Live Your Life
I want to just say a few things. Life is horrible horrible thing. It smacks you around pushes you down and makes you believe in things that you shouldn’t. People always tell you that you should live your life but what the hell does that mean. What is living? Is it just the series of chemical reactions in your body that we call life? My dog lives life every day. Or is there something...
Big Brother
I suppose I’m writing this because you will never read it. Blogs and writing have never really been your thing. No matter how much i want to deny it you have been probably the biggest influence on my life. You showed me that you can do anything you want and the only thing that can limit you is yourself… and mom. You made me tough logical and witty which have allowed me to succeed...
I Got off Work
I sorted little girls bathing suits for the last 2 hours… I really would be content with never touching another one in my life. But I’m working enough hours to make a lot of money!!! First time going to work in my new truck and it runs beautifully. Gotta do the same thing tomorrow except an hour and a half more than today but when the paycheck comes i know ill be glad i did it ha...
My Own
I finally got my own car. Well it’s a truck but even so it is mine. :) I have driven it like crazy these past two days. It’s a 1999 GMC Sonoma and i love it. Well that’s about it. Ha Ha. I have work tomorrow at 5:45. Gotta make the money.
Work
Just got off from work like an hour ago. It’s really not that bad. I organize the clothes pick up random things that have fallen on the ground and help out with the fitting rooms. The work keeps me busy and that is all that matters. I work 30 hours next week which won’t be bad and I’m going to set up a bank account today. Friday is an eight hour shift and I’m not too...
I Win
It’s 1:41 AM and i just beat my brother and his friends at risk. It was awesome!!! ha ha. Worked from 2-6 today and i start floor training tomorrow from 10-2. I really hope everything goes well. For some reason i cant formulate my thoughts maybe its because of the recent things in my life or the fact that i am really tired and i know i have to wake up early. I want to hopefully do...
Math Time
I have been alive 6,464 days. Check my math i know i am right (yes it is counting leap years). Every day i think about it that is 6,464 days where i could have done something amazing with my life. I look back and see that my entire life i have followed what my mind told me was right and didn’t even think about listening to my heart. I look at all these people that are so passionate in...
Rewind and Take Me With
I want to take it all back to christmas. I want to be able to change everything that i may have said or did and make things better. I don’t want the stress or the anger or the sarcasm i just want to change it. I can’t explain it all too well but i know if i could go back things would be different. Maybe not but i would try none the less. I feel like i don’t speak my heart...
Little Thoughts
When i was little i wanted to be an inventor. I wanted to create something that would impact people’s lives so much that i would be remembered forever. I didn’t quite understand the amount of knowledge that is required in order to be one though. Even though i no longer aspire to be an inventor i still use the same philosophy in my life. I like to think of ideas that go against the...
Life is Oh So Silly
I make it a point to find something every day to make me smile. No matter how hard i try walking in my front door and seeing my dog more excited to see me than anyone else in the world always puts a smile on my face. The fact that no matter how bad my day was or how horrible i may have treated someone she will always be happy to see me and on the verge of wetting herself makes me smile. I kid...
BINGO
I feel like one of those balls in a bingo game. They turn the crank and me and a whole bunch of other balls swish around in a cylinder and nobody knows who is gonna be chosen. I’m so confused and yet things are so clear sometimes. Gonna go hang out with my homie woods and push some of these thoughts to the back of my noggin. Blog secret still hasn’t posted mine, what losers.
I love this song!!!
“Aim high because even if you miss your mark you will go farther than those who...”
– Yours truly
Been a while
It has been a bit since i last posted. My bad. Summer is here and a lot of people are aprehensive about leaving *cough* Courtney *cough* but it’s cool because it’s gonna feel like a flash and they’re all gonna be back and band camp will start. I got the job I applied for at the Gap Outlet store and I am pretty pumped about it. My goal for this summer is to shake things up. Go...
May 2009
4 posts
Treading Water
I drove in a downpour and almost hydroplaned. I keep getting too deep into thought that i get distracted from my driving. Sometimes i wonder what the world would be like if everyone knew what eachother was thinking. There would be no lieing and fake people because we would all see past it. I also thought what would happen if everyone knew what i was thinking and decided that it would be a bad...
Good song I like it.
“If it feels like everything in life is coming your way you’re probably in...”
– Unknown
Today
Went to school and coasted through the day. I pretty much go onto auto pilot for school anymore. Got a call for a job interview which i am pretty stoked about! Can’t wait to get a job and make some money on my own. I feel like there is a lot of tension between people lately maybe it’s just me… I really hope so.